Vena Made a THC Seltzer for Coastal Girls That Will Absolutely Humble You
· Vice
Some cannabis and hemp drinks feel like basic sparkling water with a THC warning label slapped on the can. Others try so hard to be “functional” that drinking them starts feeling like homework. Vena’s Happy Tonix THC Seltzers aren’t either.
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Founded by Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Judge, these drinks feel very OC in general: posh, social, easy to drink, and a little stronger than they first come across. Drinking Happy Tonix gives you the vibe of a bougie housewife or wine-mom lounging next to their fancy pool.
The branding is also unapologetically feminine. Gradient aesthetic cans, bright and pastel colors, clean fonts, fruit-forward flavors. It’s very obvious who this is geared toward and that totally works in its favor. They feel approachable without trying too hard to be wellness-branded, especially to people who have felt intimidated by cannabis, like women who grew up around heavier stigma against weed. These drinks don’t present cannabis in a stereotypical stoner way, so it can be a great entry-point for someone who scoffs at the thought of “marijuana.”
Each can comes in at 10mg THC + 5mg CBD, a 2:1 THC to CBD ratio that puts THC in the lead. That dose immediately puts Happy Tonix in a different category than the low-dose seltzers crowding the market right now, even though Vena does offer a separate microdose seltzer line. The Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzer is something you drink when you actually want to feel high, but not completely gone or couch locked. It’s just enough to make the night more interesting without alcohol.
PHOTO CREDIT: Maha haqTL;DR – My Quick Verdict
- Buy it if: you want something you can feel high on
- Skip it if: you’re looking for a low-dose daytime drink, or have a low tollerance
- Best part: noticeable, steady effects
- Biggest drawback: flavors are basic, so it’s not the reason you’d buy it
How I Tested Vena’s Happy Tonix
I tested all three flavors, Blood Orange, Lime, and Mango, in the same settings where I’d normally have 10mg THC: early evenings after work at home, or just hanging out with my friends.
I drank one can at a time and paid attention to how it hit me, since 10mg THC is where things can start to go either way. I consider 10mg THC to be a standard single-dose for the regular and intermediate consumer. So I’m expecting this drink to have some noticeable effect even with a higher tolerance. I also spaced them out to see if it was something I’d want a second of.
For context, I’ve had everything from low-dose seltzers to 100mg dispensary drinks in one sitting, so I usually come in with very low expectations for lower dose drinks. Happy Tonix sits closer to the stronger end within its category, and it actually behaves like it.
(opens in a new window)Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzers | Blood Orange (opens in a new window)
$39.99-$101.87 at Vena CBD Buy Now (opens in a new window) (opens in a new window)Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzers | Lime (opens in a new window)
$39.99-$101.87 at Vena CBD Buy Now (opens in a new window) (opens in a new window)Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzers | Mango (opens in a new window)
$39.99-$101.87 at Vena CBD Buy Now (opens in a new window)What It’s Like to Actually Drink
Happy Tonix are pretty and polished seltzers that taste like they were made for people who want weed to feel less like weed. And that’s not a bad thing. The branding is very feminine, very clean-girl aesthetic, and very Newport Beach SAHM that would bring these on a boat.
Each can has 8g of added sugar, but it’s still only 40 calories, so they’re still sweet enough to taste pleasant without making you feel like you’re drinking liquid candy. The carbonation is also right and fizzy. Bubbly enough to sip like a real seltzer, but smooth enough that it doesn’t overpower the single-fruit flavor.
Blood Orange
This is one of the most common flavors out there for THC drinks, so there’s a lot of other brands I can compare this particular SKU to. First that comes to mind is Cann—they came to fame with their Blood Orange Cardamom flavor, but that’s low-key doing too much, and sometimes I want something simple like Vena’s version of simple blood orange. It has that slightly bitter flavor upfront, then softens into something sweeter without getting syrupy. It tastes the most adult, which is probably why I reached for it first.
SHOP VENA HAPPY TONIX BLOOD ORANGELime
This is clean and easy. It’s closer to a sparkling lime water than a seltzer, which makes it the safest pick if you want something simple and want to mix into mocktail. Lime is not exciting unless you do something more with it, but it’s still drinkable regardless of the extra effort.
SHOP VENA HAPPY TONIX LIMEMango
This flavor was my favorite and it seems to be the crowd pleaser. It is the fullest and most fun of the three. Sweeter, softer, and hard seltzer-adjacent, with a more obvious fruity flavor that fits the whole “Happy” vibe better.
They’re all easy to keep drinking, which matters more at the 10mg dose because this goes down easy enough to forget they actually hit.
SHOP VENA HAPPY TONIX MANGO Photo credit: Maha HaqHappy Effects & Onset
At 10mg THC, this really hits. You feel it. This isn’t a drink that stays in the background like most THC beverages on the market.
Vena markets these as fast-acting, claiming they hit in 10 to 20 minutes. And while I wouldn’t call the onset immediate, it does build faster than a traditional 10mg THC edible. I started noticing the effects around the 30-minute mark, and then the buzz just stayed in place once it hit. No quick dips or spikes.
Even though this drink is THC-forward, the 5mg CBD keeps things balanced. You feel a combination of buzzy high and relaxed. But the calmness doesn’t take over the experience like other THC drinks that advertise as THC-forward, but end up having double the amount of CBD. It’s the THC that brings the vibes, literally. It uplifts your mood and psyche in a way you want, while CBD chills you out. Sometimes you don’t want to be totally mellowed and calmed down, especially if you’re trying to enjoy your THC turn-up.
Happy Tonix work well in social settings too. Strong enough to replace a couple alcoholic seltzers, but still very manageable once you know where you’re at. There’s a bit of a sleepy aftereffect once the night winds down, similar to how alcohol seltzers behave. You can still socialize and function normally while drinking these, but you’ll probably be ready for bed by the time things are wrapping up. And you get to wake up the next day without a hangover.
A Happy Glance at Vena’s Tonix
Dose per can: 10mg THC + 5mg CBD
Flavors: Blood Orange, Lime, Mango
Dietary notes: 8g sugar, gluten-free, vegan
Best for:
- Evenings
- Social settings
- Replacing alcohol
Pros:
- Noticeable, steady effects
- Easy to drink
- Predictable build
- Only 40 calories per can
Cons:
- Effects are not subtle
- Flavor doesn’t standout
- Slightly higher price
Thinks to consider before buying happiness
You’re buying Happy Tonix because you want to feel high. This is a 10mg THC drink and it goes down easy, but it’s not something you can casually stack without thinking. 10mg is something you pace. Four cans of this will have me flying way too high. Sure, the 5mg CBD helps turn things down a notch. But just be prepared for a jump if you’re used to lower doses like 2.5mg to 5mg THC. That said, it doesn’t effect you like a 10mg edible would. It’s more stable and easier to manage once it sets in.
These seltzers start at $39.95 for a 6-pack, 12-pack for $71.91, and 18-pack for $101.87. That works out to roughly $5.66 to $6.66 per can, which is pretty standard pricing for a legitimate 10mg THC drink right now. It feels pretty fair for something that actually hits.
(opens in a new window)Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzers | Blood Orange (opens in a new window)
$39.99-$101.87 at Vena CBD Buy Now (opens in a new window) (opens in a new window)Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzers | Lime (opens in a new window)
$39.99-$101.87 at Vena CBD Buy Now (opens in a new window) (opens in a new window)Happy Tonix 10mg THC Seltzers | Mango (opens in a new window)
$39.99-$101.87 at Vena CBD Buy Now (opens in a new window)The Happy Bottom Line
Vena’s Happy Tonix Seltzers are stronger than most drinks in this category, and they don’t try to hide it. These are polished and approachable THC drinks that still manage to actually feel like weed. The effects stay steady, the flavors are easy to drink, and the whole experience is made for either nights in or social nights out. You will feel good without waking up hungover the next morning.
The branding is very girly and coastal Orange County, but that’s really part of the appeal. They make cannabis feel approachable for people who might normally reel back at anything too overtly stoner-coded. You just have to respect the 10mg THC dose.
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