KINSELLA: Mark Carney walks away from Donald Trump's extortion table
· Toronto Sun

“You campaign in poetry,” Mario Cuomo once famously said. “You govern in prose.”
That was a fancy way of saying that politicians often say one thing, of course, and end up doing another. Or, at least in the view of the former New York State Governor, that elections are sun-drenched daydreams. Elections, once won, rapidly devolve into reality – and, often, total nightmares.
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Welcome to Mark Carney’s nightmare.
It’s not all his fault, of course. Donald Trump is the Mango Mussolini, the Cheeto Benito. He is a monkey with a machine gun. There was never going to be any serious give-and-take with the U.S. President, because he’s a maniac and a thug.
Carney told us he could handle Trump
But, but, but: Mark Carney told us he could handle Trump, didn’t he? Over and over, too.
“Elbows up,” and “We’ll fight back” and “I’ll get a deal” and “We’re all going to stand up against Donald Trump. I’m ready.” Those are the things Mark Carney said. Repeatedly.
Remember those? Those were Carney’s election-time bits of poetry. Fast forward to now, when Mark Carney, the bard, is hearing a different tune.
Actually, no, he isn’t. Even though 100,000 Canadian families could still lose their livelihood, even when the Canadian economy is about to get body-slammed by the most-despised U.S. President in modern history, the Liberal leader still isn’t telling us, exactly, what happened. He hasn’t let us in on the devilish details in “the deal,” either.
If past political behaviour is a good indicator of future political behaviour, and it is, Mark Carney isn’t going to tell us anything anytime soon. We’ll have to wait for the inevitable late-night, all-caps Truth Social proclamation of domination over us, the hapless 51st State.
For his part, JD Vance had tried to anticipate the result. Late last week, the bilious U.S. Vice-President told a gathering of young Republicans: “It’s hilarious because Carney presents this as some victory for Canada when fundamentally, like, they climb down on a lot of issues.”
My statement on Canada-U.S. trade negotiations: pic.twitter.com/65OuQH40ra
— Mark Carney (@MarkJCarney) August 22, 2026
Carney walked away
Like, yes, Carney did, many times.
But not, apparently, this time. Carney walked away.
Vance’s prediction wasn’t entirely crazy, because Carney’s past record in negotiations with Trump wasn’t great. The Liberals had a digital sales tax– until Carney killed it back in June, because it made Trump unhappy. Before that, multinationals were facing a minimum global corporate tax rate – deep-sixed, because Trump wanted more yachts for billionaires. Online Streaming Act levy: tossed in the round file, because Trump disapproved.
Counter-tariffs: gone, Daddy Trump, gone. Carney got rid of them in September of last year because Agent Orange threw a hissy. Softwood lumber legal challenges? Those were quietly withdrawn in September, too. A “strategic choice,” the Carney folks called it. (“A complete capitulation,” the rest of us would call it.)
The best one of all, of course, was the Gordie Howe Bridge . Canadians shelled out more than $6 billion to build it, thereby connecting Windsor and Detroit. A MAGA winged monkey was unhappy, so Trump wouldn’t open it on the Detroit side. Carney surrendered, again, and let the Americans “establish and solely control” any revenue generated by bridge-crossings.
Which brings us all to now, which saw Carney frantically “negotiating” the pizzo to be paid the roadmen overseeing Trump’s protection rackets.
Not very elbows-uppy
For days, we’d heard anonymous leaks that Carney had agreed that American liquor should be sold again in Canada; that Canadian steel would have quotas and 25% permanent tariffs; that there would be 15% tariffs on our auto sector, thereby rendering it bankrupt; that his government would buy American F-35 jets that could reportedly be controlled by the Pentagon; that there would be continuing tariffs for Canadian softwood lumber; and that supply management was history, and subsidy-drunk American farmers would get unimpeded access to our markets.
Sounded like a victory to you? Me neither. Not very elbows-uppy.
So – stop the presses – Mark Carney walked away from the extortion table.
Didn’t think he had it in him – but he did. Good. There is only so much humiliation a nation can take.
Details of the “deal” weren’t available at press time, as we like to say. But the anonymous leaks had made it clear that it wasn’t a negotiation, it was a mugging. Carney had no choice: he needed show he had a spine, and – surprise surprise – he does.
So, quote Mario Cuomo today all you like, Prime Minister.
For once, it fits.