WATCH: Woman Shares Ex-Husband’s List of 17 Things He ‘Gave Up’ for Their Marriage
· Vice
Being married means giving stuff up. You knew that going in. What you probably didn’t expect was an itemized list of sacrifices from your ex-husband, including all the women he supposedly could’ve slept with instead. One Atlanta woman got the same list from her ex-husband during their divorce, and he apparently had 17 grievances to get off his chest.
TikToker Riley Madison shared the list in a video that’s racked up over 15.5 million views. He’d sent it during their divorce, and she decided to read it aloud from bed, with her new husband. An excellent audience for revisiting everything her ex believes he gave up for their marriage.
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His first sacrifice? “Every woman I could’ve had sex with since you and I got together.” Nothing says husband of the year quite like keeping a mental list of women you resent your wife for not sleeping with.
He also listed the free time he sacrificed by working a 9-to-5 job to support their financial future. That’s generally how employment works, but congratulations on participating in the economy. And then there’s the personal growth. Among his sacrifices was “acting like a jerk,” insinuating that being pleasant to your wife was something he had to work very hard at.
Madison had a few corrections of her own. Those evenings spent watching Civil War documentaries? Those were his idea.
@rileymadison00Let me know if I was the worst wife ever #fyp #storytime #toxicrelationship #narcissist #ex
♬ original sound – Riley Madison
Woman Shares Ex-Husband’s List of Marriage ‘Sacrifices.’ Not Sleeping With Other Women Was No. 1.
The comments section, as expected, couldn’t hold back. “Gave up being a jerk. CATEGORICALLY NOT TRUE,” one person wrote. Another compared the list to padding an essay to meet the required word count. Someone else asked, “How can I also divorce him?”
There is some actual psychology behind the whole marriage-sacrifice business. In a study of dating couples, psychologist Emily Impett and her colleagues examined what happened when people gave things up for their partners over two weeks.
People who made sacrifices because they genuinely wanted to make their partner happy felt better about themselves and their relationships. What about people who did it to keep the peace or avoid another argument? They were less happy, and their relationships were more likely to fall apart. The reason behind a sacrifice makes the difference.
And, of course, there’s always going to be the “tit for tat” pettiness. Research suggests that people can become resentful when they feel their sacrifices aren’t appreciated or reciprocated. You can imagine how well that resentment ages when someone’s been mentally documenting every missed opportunity to sleep with another woman.
Every long-term relationship comes with compromises. Sometimes you watch a documentary you hate or skip a night out because your partner needs you. Generally, people hope those gestures come from affection, with some mutual appreciation along the way.
Madison’s ex seems to have treated marriage like a shi**y job where he was constantly being asked to do too much. And when it ended, he made damn sure she knew everything he thought he was owed. What a gentleman.
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